from 20 May 2013

first this is part of the email I sent to Elder Knotts:

....so much going on and working hard to complete everything.  I was behind a lesson in RS and spent the better part of the week studying Lesson 8 in the Lorenzo Snow book.  Do you study those lessons too?  When I read the title of the lesson "Search Me, O God, and Know My Heart", I thought to myself, "you really need this lesson, don't skip it!"  So I started studying it and have found it to be most beneficial!!

"I have reason to believe that many of the Latter-day Saints, during a great portion of their lives, could approach the Lord in all confidence and make this same prayer (from Psalm 139:23-24)—“Search me, O God, and know my heart, and see if there be any wicked way in me;” but if we, as a people, could live so as to be able at all times to bow before the Lord and offer up a prayer like this, what a delightful thing it would be, what an attainment we should have acquired in righteousness and good works! … I would recommend that [every person] adopt this prayer of David, and see how near he can live according to the light that he has, so as to make it in all sincerity part of his devotions to God. Many fail in coming up to this standard of excellence because they do things in secret where mortal eye cannot penetrate, that have a direct tendency to alienate them from the Almighty and to grieve away the Spirit of God. Such persons cannot in their private closet use this prayer; they could not unless they had repented of their sins and repaired the wrong they may have committed, and determined to do better in the future than they had done in the past, and to establish a character before God that could be relied upon in the hour of trial, and that would fit them to associate with holy beings and with the Father himself when they shall have passed into the spirit world.

… We must be true men and true women; we must have faith largely developed, and we must be worthy of the companionship of the Holy Ghost to aid us in the work of righteousness all the day long, to enable us to sacrifice our own will to the will of the Father, to battle against our fallen nature, and to do right for the love of doing right, keeping our eye single to the honor and glory of God. To do this there must be an inward feeling of the mind that is conscious of the responsibility that we are under, that recognizes the fact that the eye of God is upon us and that our every act and the motives that prompt it must be accounted for; and we must be constantly en rapport [in harmony] with the Spirit of the Lord.

 I have spent much time on my knees pleading with Heavenly Father to search my heart and help me with good intentions!  I have had several good missionary experiences this week at school, with Jared Harvey's mother, with a complete stranger.....I am trying!  :)  

love and miss you terribly!

MOM

then sent to me, his mother, in response 20 May 2013

Hey Mommy!

I'm so glad to hear that youre searching the Lord and youre finding Him! How sweet it is to feel the Spirit's embrace. I will absolutely make this prayer also! Plead with the Lord that He may search my heart and help me to abandon feelings of anger, hate, selfishness, pride, sadness and loneliness. He is more than aware of how we feel but asking Him for help opens up the door for Him to teach us what we can do. Sometimes we have so many problems and challenges and we dont know what to do. We run out of ideas or just dont know how to begin and confront the problem. Personal revelation through prayer and scripture study help us that we may know the will of the Lord and what He desires that we do. I am so thankful for the scriptures. I honestly dont think my testimony would be so strong without the scriptures, especially the Book of Mormon. Just like Nephi, my soul delighteth in the scriptures and my heart pondereth upon them. I read Alma 33 again this week. I've already read this chapter several times but I love it even more with each read. Especially 33:11. I love when he bears his testimony of prayer and thanks the Lord for hearing his cries in verses 4-10. And in verse 11 I especially love when he says, "therefore I will cry unto thee in all mine afflictions, for in thee is my joy." Truly, my joy is in the Lord. I love you mom and am so thankful for your help and prayers. ..... I know the the Lord will continue to bless you because of your faithfulness and service to His children. 

Elder Knotts